how do I fit as humanpuppy in myself as well as community?
Its just been a matter of time since I actually sat down with myself on this subject of gender and sexuality while exploring the humanpuppy side of me. Since starting on this pup and handler journey with Daddy, there’s been quite of bit of introspection and insights that’s been keeping me busy.
Since being pup means being in the body, I’ve had to sit and really listen to the story of my body to be able to make room for pup to feel at home. Now this wolfpuppy may be young at heart but the body has been in this life for over 40 something hooman years. In that time, there’s been conditions and beliefs picked up and held deeply for so long. Being active in the body with humanpuppy headspace has shaken some things to the surface to let go. And pup is shaking it all out!
Daddy has thrown himself completely into his role of guide and nurturer, providing a safe space for me to figure things out. I can’t imagine not having him in my life as he’s helping me make sense of issues that no longer need to be issues, and guiding me through the avalanche of pupplay information out there. For example, I am who I am, accepting that fact is important to be able to move forward, as Daddy accepts me completely. Comparing oneself to others and according to what pupplay Should Look Like is an issue I can let go of.
I identify as genderfluid humanpup, with they/them pronouns. I am babygirl to my Daddy, which has no relevance to anyone outside of our relationship. I do non-sexual pupplay with other humanpups. I find myself on the asexual spectrum as demi sexual, which is relevant to my current polyam relationships. The Why behind my life choices do not need to be shared, but this is something that’s been hanging around in the background, waiting to be acknowledged, as I’ve been doing self work for self healing. Using puppplay as a method of reducing anxiety and regaining my confidence has helped me face these shadows inside.
Also, these labels do not have me in the dogbox. I use these labels to help me understand something better about myself – there is no judgement, its about holding information for myself. Savonne Pearson gives a nice description about her view on labels in her demisexual post.
I’m unlearning as I’m learning more about how I express my pup side. It’s about growth. Making enough room for who you really are is a Big Job. Creative expression takes space, and expressing your authentic Awoo is important. Remember to be kind to yourself on your pup journey, it’s a process not a quick fix.